When Love is Tough

I'm still feeling a little sad, and guilty, over leaving D. I know, logically, it's only for a few days. But I see my role, in our relationship, as the "supporter." I'm around to cheer him on, and to be there. To do the things for him, that he needs.

And when I'm not around, I feel insanely guilty! It might sound weird to some. But in our crazy, and very chaotic life, that's just the way it is. Plain and simple. He does so much for me, that I feel like I'm supposed to be there, doing for him as well.

I'm not joking when I say this, Sunday just broke my heart. All I wanted to do, was crawl back into bed. To be there for the man, that is always there for me. Talk about hard to do. How do you walk away from someone, that loves you that much? That does so much for you. And gives up so much, to just be with you. It was so hard! But of all the things that I've learned, in relationships, sometimes you just have to do things for you.

The look in his eyes, on Sunday morning, made me want to crawl back into bed. To cuddle with him. Right up until he had to go to work. There is nothing like feeling his arms, wrapped rightly around me. Knowing that he loves me so incredibly much. I wanted nothing more, than to crawl back into bed, get into my little "nook," and fall asleep to the beat of his heart.

But like I said, I've been in relationships were I've completely lost myself. Let the other person's life totally dictate mine. And it's tough. It's hard to not do that again. But it's the wrong way to go. So I held my ground. Put on my jacket, and battled the rain. I endured a morning of traveling. And guess what? It wasn't that bad.

I had an amazing time with my friends. We celebrate my Goddaughter. We caught up on each others' lives. We laughed. I enjoyed delish Mexican food again. Oh, how I've missed it! And when all that was done, smiles were permanently glued to our faces, and my heart overflowed with love...we headed to the park. To see my friends perform. It was an amazing concert!

As hard as it is, to be in this relationship, I wouldn't trade anything in the world for it. It's so hard, to be away from all of my family and friends. I miss them so terribly bad! And it's incredibly tough, to be away from everyone and everything, that I love so much. The culture, climate, food, shopping,and life in general. But I LOVE D. And I'm OK with being away from all of this. Just as long as I get to visit from time to time.

And I know, that these little trips are good for D and I as well. It's good that we spend a little time away from one another. It's good that our lives involve other people. And other things. That we have interests away from each other. Yes, it's good for us.

So I'm going to make the best of my week. I'm going indulge in all the yummy food, I'm going to love my Goddaughters even more, I'm going fix my home, visit my family, and enjoy life in the desert. Because sometimes, you just have to do that!

And next week, when I get to see D, I'm going to be over the moon! I'm going to enjoy our homecoming. And all that I've missed. I'm going to hug him a little harder. I'm going to enjoy the smell of his cologne. And the feel of his arms. Yes, I'm going to do all of that, and so much more!

Relationships are not easy. They require a lot of "push and pull," to make them successful. I'm so happy that I'm on this journey with D. A man that truly understands all of this. That loves me. And is willing to sacrifice a little, so that I can be happy too. Yes, this is a very good relationship. And D is an amazing man! I'm so lucky and blessed.

XOXO

♥D

Intimate Matters

I've put this particular conversation off for a while. Who wants to talk to their older sister about these matters? Not me. I rarely ever talked to my sister, about girls in general. As teens, she'd try and bribe me. It didn't work. Why would I talk to her? I needed to avoid all that embarrassment. At all costs!

As adults, we've gotten closer. We've been through a hell of a lot of shit together. Losing our Dad. Her relationships. Failed marriages. Children. My failed relationships. My career. Our lives. All of it. With all this crap, I've gotten more comfortable. Felt like I could talk about more stuff with her. Especially when we began working together. I really felt like she had my back.

When ♥D and I started dating, we did it quietly. Neither of us wanted extra pressure. From anyone. We already had a lot going against us. Our physical distance. She lived in SW. I lived in SE. We both had highly demanding jobs. We just wanted this to be quiet. To be our thing.

Soon, people could tell something was different. I was freakin' happy 24/7. It had absolutely nothing to do with my new job adventures. It was this new woman. I knew immediately that she had me. That this was it. We were meant for one another. I just needed a way to make things easier. To make them work for us. To figure out how to at least get us in the same city.

My sister came to me one day, and wanted to know what was up. I was playing dumb. I wasn't so sure if I wanted her to know. Completely out of character for me. She is the one person I share almost everything with. As she grilled me, and our cousin loved it, she knew something was up. My cousin finally gave me up. I think he was a little too happy to have something over me.

There was never anyone that was so happy. My sister was happy. She knew I had found someone, that really made me happy. Not someone that would be a "play thing." But a real partner for me. She was just happy. Even happy that we were choosing to keep this quiet. Later, we'd both agree, it has been the single best thing. The one thing that has allowed for Miss ♥D and I to have this relationship. This real relationship. That's so strong.

Time past. Miss ♥D and my family got close. My sister really liked her. Liked that she was a good and strong woman. A woman with dreams and goals of her own. But an "old school" type. You know, takes care of the home, cooks, cleans, puts family first, loves with everything she's got. My whole family was just happy.

And not much more was said. My family just opened their arms. Let her in. Welcomed and loved her. A few times, someone would bring something up. Of the intimate matter. Were we being safe? Was I making sure to "cover up?" The usual talk, when people think they need to protect you. But we could figure ways out of it. Of not having to completely answer. Let everything out. My cousin would joke with me. But it was all light. Nothing too deep, or serious.

Then came my sister. This week. My newlywed sister. Who wanted to know. Know everything. Do we do it? Are we using protection? Will we have kids before we get married? What's going on there? Dude, I was like a damn deer in the headlights. What the hell?



Miss ♥D and I rarely talk to people about this. But I'm sure people wonder. Hell, I'll admit it here. I've dating some women...let's just say...some that I'd never take home to meet my momma or grandma. Let alone my sister or nieces. You just don't do that. I was young. Stupid. Had the world by the damn tail. Thought I knew it all. But what those models, bunnies, and other women didn't have...was everything I was looking for in a woman. Everything that Miss ♥D is, and has.

The answer I gave my sister was no. We don't. Miss ♥D has certain morals, values, and beliefs. I love her more than life itself. And I respect these things. I'd be lying if I said that the thought hasn't crossed my mind. A few billion times. Hell, I'm still a red blooded American man. Sometimes, the damn wrong head is doing the thinking. How can it not? She's a beautiful, sensual woman. But I respect my girlfriend and her beliefs.

The funny thing is, this was probably one of our very first conversations. I don't even know how it came about. But we met, when Miss ♥D was performing in the City of Sin. She was in a Burlesque group. And man, did she look amazing! I paid a guy, to make sure that I'd get a chance to meet her.

Yes, 2 incredibly shy kids. You're probably wondering who made the first move. Well, to tell the truth. Neither of us. I paid a guy to meet Miss ♥D. I met her. So incredibly shy. At the time she was dating someone. And was completely different off stage. Onstage, she was confident. Almost demanding your attention. She had a very sensual way of singing. A fun energy about her, when she danced.

But when we talked, she was quiet. Shy. I recognized that. I'm the same way. She blushed when we shook hands. And was not at all comfortable, when her group took a picture with my buddies and I. But she was sweet. Genuine. Real. Super friendly. Big heart. You could tell that right away. Just the way she was so kind. Even to her bodyguard. Super sweet. Offering him a drink, or a snack. A chance to relax before the next show. And a party later.

I knew that I had met my match, when I met Miss ♥D. There was just something about her. I hoped that I'd get a chance. I knew that she'd love with all her heart. Fill me with that love. I could just imagine what life with her would be like. Full of passion and chemistry. A bit of mystery. Because there was just something in her eye, a sparkle. I just knew that I wanted a chance. And I got that chance. Months later. We were both single. And I took the chance.

I had the knowledge, that this incredible woman was a virgin. And would remain so, until she was married. I knew that. And I more than accepted it. I welcomed it. I respected it. Because Miss ♥D is too special, to just write off.

Was I a sexual being before? Am I a red blooded American man? Of course I was. Did I think this would be tough? Yes. I knew it would be. But I don't think, that I really thought it through. Thought how would I handle it? The cuddling time, that she so dearly enjoys. The make out sessions, that remind you of being a teenager. And then realizing, it has to stop. Sharing a bed with someone, that you just want to devour, and must hold back. The things that flash through your mind. The things you want to do, enjoy, and feel with the woman that you love the most. But I know that I have to wait. Keep all this under control. Control my feelings and desires. My wants. The things that my body wants most.

It's tough as hell. But I remind myself, Miss ♥D is worth it. And worth so much more. She is. God knows, she is! I find myself wanting her more and more each day. And I remind myself, that's only natural. It's tough. Tough as hell. But you do what you have to do, for love.

My sister literally fell out of her chair, during our conversation this week. I busted out laughing. Who would have thought? She immediately called Miss ♥D. That look that crossed her face, told it all. Then I got that hug and "I'm proud of you little brother." It felt good. I know I'm doing the right thing here.

I know, this has made Miss ♥D's and I relationship stronger. I don't care what people think, or say. Because this is our relationship. We do what's best for the 2 of us. Not what other people think is best. That makes me feel good. I've got Miss ♥D's back, and she's got mine. Is there anything else that we need?

Believe me, I do miss that. I miss the sex. I crave that, with the woman I love. To be that intimate. That close to her. To hear her call my name...just like that. To hold me, as ecstasy takes over. Like I'm the only thing that can keep her alive. To know, that I'm the one that makes her feel just that way. To feel her body crave and yearn for my body, the way it just happens. At just the right time. To feel us connected as one. Sex is different when you're in love. When you are older. And appreciate it. The intimate matters of it. Not just the physicality.

For now, I'll take all the making out, cuddling, and sleeping so close, that I swear you couldn't fit a piece of paper between us. Because it's what the love of my life needs. I'll give her anything and everything that she needs. Even if it means some ice cold showers, from time to time, for me.

But honestly, watching her battle the Big C, like she does, how can I not sacrifice a little bit? She literally fights for her life. How can I be pissed about something like this? To me, it's all worth it. One day, we'll be there. OK, so we might not be reachable for about 6 months. ;-) But you'll know why. It just might push me into early retirement. Because I won't be able to focus on anything else. But the time will come. When our bodies finally give in to all our desires. When we cling to each other for life. Like our entire existence depends on one another. When we become one body, soul, and spirit. And it will be amazing for both of us. D

Lucky Man...I Am

This morning, I would have preferred pulling ♥D just that much closer and going back to sleep. Instead, she in her own magical way, got me to wake up. As I lay there dying, and trying to sleep just a few more minutes, ♥D was happily making me breakfast. I am a lucky man. She even managed to get me out the door on time. A task that is too much for 5 of my employees.

♥D loves me whole heartily for me. Not the name, fame, or money. But for the man I am at the end of the day. She takes amazing care of me. No matter what. She can have a god awful day, and when I walk in the door, she is there with a big smile. Waiting to kiss me.

In my life, I have never felt lucky. I have felt burdened and alone most of the time. Until I met ♥D. She adds to my life all the things that were missing. Things that I never knew I wanted in life. Until she filled those empty spaces. Today I was even surprised with homemade brownies and lemonade for a snack. No reason at all, just because ♥D is ♥D. I thank God every single day for sending her to me. D

Dirty Dancing

♥D generally makes me laugh. She just has her own way of doing things. And I should never be too surprised when it comes to her. ♥D just moves to the beat of her own drum. All the time!

Our cleaning lady has this week off. She is traveling to visit her family. I am not worried like I normally would be. ♥D does a good job of keeping everything together. She is a little OCD and I think that she actually does a better job than our cleaning lady. No, really she does.

Today when I got home, I just had to pull up a chair and watch what was going on. ♥D had the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing blasting in the background. She was singing and dancing around the house. All while cleaning. Did I mention....♥D was in one of my T-shirts, panties, and socks. Can you say I hit the jackpot? And she hadn't realized I had gotten home.

I found out later, it was also laundry day. Seems like ♥D ran out of clothes. But in reality, that is how ♥D cleans. She usually has a pair of shorts on . But she dances around the house. All I can really say is, Thank goodness the girls were with my mom. Because there is something irresistible about a woman dancing to Dirty Dancing in my t-shirt. I am a lucky man! D

Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

Artist: Marvin Gaye

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

It's not warm when she's away.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

And she's always gone too long.

Anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone.

Wonder if she's gone to stay.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

And this house just ain't no home.

Anytime she goes away.

I know x 16

Gotta leave the young thing alone

There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

Only darkness every day.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.

And this house just ain't no home.

Anytime she goes away.

Anytime she goes away.

Anytime she goes away.

Anytime she goes away.

The first time ♥D and I spent time away from each other, I heard this song. I heard it 5X's on the radio in 1 hr. Now every time we spend a good period of time away from one another, I think about this song. It might sound crazy, but this song tells the story of how I feel. There really is no sunshine in my life when ♥D is not around. Even if we are apart for just 3 days, it feels like lifetimes.

1 day is too long to be away from ♥D. I know that there are times when we have to be apart. But life is just not the same without her. Life isn't as fun or happy. Food doesn't taste the same. Music doesn't sound the same. And with the way my career has been going, time away from ♥D can feel like a punishment. Counting the days until my sunshine returns. D

Taking ♥D Out

Well, things didn't go as planned. We are here another day. With nothing to do tonight. So I decided to take ♥D out. On plan: A good dinner, maybe a moonlight drive, and who knows what else we could get into. But I figure since we are here another night, why not make the most of it and take this gorgeous lady out for some fun? I even decided to dress up. That right there tells you how much I love this woman. ♥D is getting ready. Something tells me that I am going to have to carry her to the car. She could be carried away by the falling downpour. D

A Bear, Deer, and Non-Stop Rain

This morning, I thought I would be attacked by a flying deer. They are everywhere. Coming from every direction. Tonight we saw a dead bear. On the side of the road. As we drove back from dinner. It was a damn big bear.

Now, the rain is back. Back in buckets. This weekend has been one for the books. One that I will be happy to end. I just have to get through work tomorrow. I hope the rain holds off until the evening. All we can do is be optimistic about it. That's it. We have seen the water pour down since earlier this afternoon. Making it's own river through the open field. Water gushing downward 2 feet deep.

The rain has been a good thing though. At least for ♥D and myself. We have gotten to spend some good quality time together. To take a couple of long drives. To have some good long conversations. To just learn more about one another. This has been a good weekend for us. D

July Questions Answered

We are finally sitting down to answer your questions. Yes folks, we got a bunch of them. So we decided that we would answer 20 questions at the end of every month. So keep them coming! We enjoyed reading them. And hope that you enjoy reading our answers. So let's start!

1. What are your real names?
We are trying to stay anonymous. So we can't say. But both names begin with D.

2. What do you do for a living?
We cannot be completely honest here either. But D owns his own company. ♥D is an intern at a few hospitals and government health agencies.

3. How long have you dated?
We began dating in April 2008.

4. How did you meet?
During the 2007 Holiday Season, I was performing in Las Vegas. I am a musician that frequently would perform various shows during the holiday season. D and his buddies were in Las Vegas on vacation. And they happened to stop by one of my shows. We got to meet after the show. My boss knew D and he brought him backstage. But we didn't start talking until months later. D called one day to book my band for a gig. We started talking regularly. And we met in person again in April 2008 and never looked back!

5. Why is your blog orange and pink?
We didn't want to make the blog too girly, or too manly. So we settled on black. Then used 2 of our favorite colors for the blog. Orange for D and pink for ♥D.

6. How often do you travel?
Weekly, no joke! ♥D often travels multiple times during the week for work. But as a couple, we travel at the end of the week for my work.

7. What is up with ♥D's juice/7UP drink?
Hahaha...it is just something that I like to drink. I have no real answer why. I actually like the taste of juice, but I think it is too concentrated. So I like to dilute it. And I like the fizz of the 7UP. But you could also use sparkling water. Just make sure it is mixed in a 1:1 ratio.

8. Why do you call your animals "fur babies?"
My dogs and cats have always been spoiled. But when ♥D moved in with me, she took spoiling to a whole other level. They really did become her babies.

9. What is D's specialty to cook?
I like to grill steaks. It is an art. With some rice and vegetables it is a good meal.

10. How old are you?
♥D is 26. And D is 34.

11. Does ♥D have any packing secrets?
I am going to assume you mean packing for a trip? Not really. I roll my clothes instead of fold them. It helps to keep the wrinkles out. If I am packing a silky blouse or something that wrinkles easily, I pack it in a Ziploc bag. Yes, you read right. It keeps it from wrinkling. And I try to pack things that can easily be mixed and matched. Staying in the same color family or palette allows you to pack less clothes, but have many outfits. Add a few fun accessories in bight colors, like a pair of earrings, a purse, or a pair of shoes. As far as toiletries, I try to keep it easy. Pack your essentials. I always save the sample size fragrances for travel. I also pack makeup for a neutral face, but add in a bright lipstick, black eyeshadow, and a blush with a little more color than normal.

12. What kinds of workouts do you do?
♥D tends to run 3-5 miles a day. Every day. She also works with a trainer 5 days a week. They do weight training M-W-F. On T-Th ♥D practices yoga. Sat-Sun she does pilates. I on the other hand, am a bit lazier. I have a trainer and try to workout 4 days a week. We do a mix of weight training and cardio. I workout less often, but I go through "Captain Death Wish" workouts. It all evens out.

13. Do you come from large families?
♥D is the youngest of 9 kids. I am a middle kid of a family of 4. But we are both from families that have had divorce and remarriages. We are not strangers to step-family and all that.

14. Who's idea was the blog? And why did you start it?
D wanted a place to talk about our relationship. Not many people know about our relationship. D liked my personal blog and thought we could start a blog together. After much thought, we settled on an anonymous blog. A place for the people in our lives to read about our daily life. We could share stories and adventures. For us, it is just a way of sharing the story of our life together.

15. What is ♥D's go to outfit?
A pair of jeans, some kind of fun and flirty top, a jacket of some sort, either ballet flats or high heels, and some piece of fun jewelry. I am pretty eclectic when it comes to my style. But this is the type of outfit that I throw on to do a lot of different things.

16. How many times a week do you eat at home?
Before ♥D, I never ate at home. I might cook 2X's a month. I ate a lot of take-out. But ♥D likes to cook and bake. She is always in the kitchen. I would say we eat in more than we eat out. Very easily. In a week, we might eat 2-3 meals out at a restaurant or in terms of take-out. But in general, we eat at home. Even when we are on the road, ♥D cooks for us.

17. What is ♥D's favorite store to shop at?
In general, I like Target. There is a variety of good quality items there. The prices are not really that much different from Wal-Mart, but the quality is a lot better. And honestly, it is a lot cleaner at Target. With friendlier service.

18. Do you 2 want kids?
We do. But in the future. We are enjoying our life the way it is now. Just spending time together and learning more about each other. Our lives are pretty chaotic right now. We would just like for life to calm down a bit before we add kids to the mix.

19. Does ♥D go to school?
Yes, I am still in college. And I am an intern. Life is just a little crazy right now. But it is the good kind of crazy.

20. Do you spend lots of time with family and friends?
We tend to eat dinner with D's family at least once a week. We also spend a lot of time with his nieces. They are close to him and I. We generally spend more time with our friends on the weekend. Most of my close friends are back home. Along with my family. But occasionally, my close friends fly in to visit on the weekend. And both D and I's best friends live nearby. So we probably have dinner once a week, maybe meet up for a couple of lunches, or just hangout together.

That's it for this month! We hope you enjoyed learning a little more about the 2 of us. Keep the questions coming. Until next month!

XOXO

♥D and D

The Cleaning Queen

♥D really is. I am not lying. I have come to realize that it is in her blood. I. Am. Not. Lying. I. Am. Not.

I realized this when I woke up this morning and looked around. ♥D was called into work late last night. She had already gone to bed. But when I woke up, I saw her Pjs neatly folded on the bench thing. Her slippers were MIA. I later found them in her closet. On my side, my clothes made that snakelike trail to the bed. That's the difference between the 2 off us. It's not bad. Just different.

Her cleaning and organizing has come in handy. Our closets look like the fancy NYC stores. Everything hangs by color, style, and well I don't actually know the order in which she has put things. But I am never hunting down that pair of jeans or shoes that I used to have missing for months. The linen closet looks like a store display. Everything is perfectly folded and organized. I am even at a loss for words at how ♥D organizes all of her lotions and that type of thing.

On occasion, I have wondered if ♥D suffers from OCD. But "suffers from" makes it sound like it debilitates her. It does not. She just focuses on it. Does it make life easier in the long run? Most certainly. Does it drive me nuts at times? Most definitely! There have been nights were I am sleeping. It is 3AM. I can hear noise. What is it? ♥D organizing shoes in her closet. Or organizing canned food in the pantry. Or making sure that the wrapping paper is organized perfectly.

My Buddy T is another one of those neat freaks. I should be used to this type of thing. I am not a slob. But honestly. If there is a pair of shoes at the door, a few dishes in the sink, or the bed is not made, I am cool with that. ♥D not so much. It doesn't bother her if she is doing something. But if she is just sitting around, she will go wash the 2 dishes in the sink. Or hang up the jacket that has been laying on the sofa. I appreciate the organization. But is it really that necessary to life? D

She's So Happy

The past few months have been tough to say the least. ♥D has never let me down. Standing right by my side. When she couldn't, I knew that she wanted to. To state that work has been tough this year, that would be the understatement of the year. We have had a rough, rough year. But ♥D never falters or sways.

It's been a few weeks since ♥D's last surgery. Late May, she was told that her illness was back. It sickened me to the point of physical illness. Something she did not know, until now. Her plans for a European tour were indefinitely placed on the back burner. ♥D remained hopeful. Between my weekly travels, ♥D scheduled her surgery.

♥D has to be the strongest, most loving, and incredibly delicate woman I have ever met. EVER. My mom, sister, and grandma remained with her when I had to leave for work. One con to my job, there are few times during the year that I can take a day off. Much less the weeks she needed me to.

Through it all, ♥D has remained strong, positive, and hopeful. To be completely honest, I have needed that as both guidance and support for myself. We have been down this road once before, and I will remain by her side once again. But it has been a challenge. For both of us.

On one hand, I would give anything to spend the time with her, at home, nursing her back to health. But I know that is not what she wants, or needs at this point. She is incredibly strong, like Hercules. To just be in bed, that infuriates her to no end. So we continue to travel. Taking all the precautions needed.

On the other hand, I know that I cannot prevent her from doing the things she does. She is an intern. In a hospital, none the less. ♥D is also a woman that is strong willed, and strong minded. I just sit back and marval at the things she is able to accomplish. Completely awestruck. Who wouldn't be?

At one time, I suffered a severe injury. One in which, at times, I wish would just end. But I never had the strength that ♥D has. I don't know where she gets it, or where exactly it comes from. But I do witness it daily as she challenges both her body and mind to do the things she is passionate about.

Today was the perfect example. ♥D was not feeling well. I could just tell by the way she slept. Or the lack there of sleep. But she rolled over, smiled, and said "Good morning sleepyhead." Ultimately, it all ended with us making breakfast together. We enjoyed looking out onto the ocean. But I could tell the pain in her eyes, the slowness in her movements.

After some convincing, my lugging her laptop, some umbrellas and lounge furniture, she sat with me on the beach. At times, I wonder if I ask too much of her. Then there are times that I know I push her just enough to enjoy the small things in life.

I know that ♥D is blissfully happy at this very moment. She received an email from a very close friend that she has not heard from in a while. Immediately a smile reached her eyes. After a quick response, we shared a snack and she fell asleep. ♥D has been peacefully napping for the better part of the afternoon. I am now grilling up some dinner.

It has been a day filled with those tiny moments that make a day worth living. I know in my heart that my life is 1000X's better with ♥D at my side. I just hope that she knows how much she means to me, and how much I love her. D

143

Something that I admire about ♥D is that she always shows you how much you mean to her. This morning I woke up to find her gone. I looked out to our private little beach area to find the perfect breakfast set up, ♥D in the most incredible red bikini, and the message she left for me in the sand. 2 hearts, on inside the other, with 143. I send her that message a 1000X's a day. No, really I do. But to see her leave it for me. That was priceless. ♥D...143...D

Mr. Blue Eyes

Maybe it's tropical paradise, the sun, or being well rested...but D's eyes are looking especially blue today. And I'm loving it! Mr. Blue Eyes just has a look about him today. A little sexy, a little playful, and definitely a little devilish.

This vacay has been a blessing for both of us. I guess I hadn't realized just how much the stresses of the world were weighing on us. D has been under a lot of pressure at work. But this is just what the doctor ordered!

Right this minute, D is playing in the water like a 3 year old. Not the grown 30 something year old man that he is. It just makes me smile! :O) He deserves to get away from it all. I just wish he could get the chance more often.

XOXO

♥D

Halo

I am a musician...something that I am proud of...but something that plagues me from time to time. Then there are the days when being a musician is such a blessing...when I can bring out emotions in people, am able to create some "magic," or appreciate a song for all of it's wonder and glory.

The first time I heard the song Halo, I immediately thought of D. I have had such a rough couple of years...and he came into my life at just the right time. I know everything happens for a reason. And every single person who crosses our paths, they have a purpose. But I am truly blessed with D. Someone who I can share everything with, without having to worry about being judged.

I am going to post the lyrics and a link to the video. Maybe you will appreciate the meaning of this song as much as I do. Or maybe I can inspire you to search for a song that completely tells the story of the one you love.

XOXO

♥D

♥Halo♥

Songwriters: Bogart, Evan Kidd; Knowles, Beyonce Gisselle; Tedder, Ryan Benjamin

Remember those walls I built

Well, baby they're tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in

But I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

It's the risk that I'm takin'

I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget

To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

The risk that I'm takin'

I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

Halo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo

I can see your halo halo halo

(Video)

Going on a Vacay

We are going on vacation today! Woohoo!!! OK, we will be gone roughly a week and a half. All I can tell you is that we are going somewhere tropical. Yes, nice and warm. Lots of sun, clear water, and sand. I can already feel my feet in the sand...and we are only on the plane. :O)

We are going to enjoy the sun and the sea...

A few tropical sunsets...

Maybe even playing in the sand...

Oh yeah! We enjoyed a good breakfast with V and her fiance this morning. It was nice to just remember the good times at college. V, E, and myself were interns at the same hospital, in the town we went to college at. We were pretty hilarious! The song Unwritten was like our "Theme Song." It really did fit us at the time. V left for Dallas about 6 months after we initially started our internships. She graduated and had bigger dreams. That and she is originally from Texas.

E and I probably worked together another year. Then she graduated and got married. I was her maid of honor. They had a cool 50s type of wedding. 50s cars included! Then they moved to Florida. Her and her husband were in grad school there. They are actually thinking about moving back to our small college town. They miss it. And now E has a Master's Degree in Nutrition and her RD. Her husband has a PhD.

I think D loved hearing about the silly things we did back then. I am the youngest of the three of us, and definitely got picked on more. D liked hearing about the crazy things I used to get into at work. Especially the story of me breaking my finger when I worked at Hooter's. :O) It was a long time ago, I needed a job, and in a small town...you can't be picky!

And before I could leave town, I had to stop at this adorable stationary shop. I bought a bunch of notecards, pens, and stationary. All of which I didn't need. But it definitely brightened my day! I gotta go people...we are going on vacay!

XOXO

♥D

♥D is Going to Dallas

♥D is on her way to Dallas. She has a medical conference out there. She will be back tomorrow afternoon. Just in time for me to work. ♥D has been excited about this trip. It is one of those quick trips that she does for work. People think I travel a lot for work. ♥D has me beat by far.

I am proud of her. Her accomplishments make mine look like mole hills, instead of the mountains that people make them out to be. The work that she does with kids is absolutely amazing. I cannot understand how one human being can have so much love and kindness to share. But she does. Those kids just love her to pieces. But I can understand why.

I cannot lie. I already miss ♥D. She hasn't been gone for long. But the energy is different without her around. One of my buddies came by earlier. He could tell. We played a couple of video games and had some beer. But it wasn't the same.

It is times like this that I realize just how special ♥D is. Just how much I have grown to rely on her. I decided to call it a night early. But it hasn't been the same. It's the little things that make me miss those sweet brown eyes of hers.

My buddies might give me a hard time. But she is the one for me. From the beginning I knew it. Times like this, just emphasize it. ♥D I hope you have a good time. D

Babe You Need New Socks

Last night ♥D was laying on the couch. Our furry pals surrounding her. In the middle of summer, she is in sweats, a sweatshirt, and under a blanket. I cannot lie. She did look adorable. But sticking out of the blanket was this little pink sock. Sticking out of the sock, was her big toe. Cute as it is, nail painted a sexy red. It stuck out.

Wait. One. Minute. Here. Folks.

My darling ♥D has a hole in her sock? I go and gently pull at it. It was playful. ♥D gets a little giggly and embarrassed. Furry pals are not happy with me. I jog upstairs and pick up another pair of her socks. And head down.

♥D had not been feeling well. So I just changed her socks. A little difficult with the grawling dogs. I go to sit down. There is ♥D's toe again. hmm What gives? Make another trip to her sock drawer. I discover out of the 10 pairs of socks I pulled out, 10 had holes. I was not going to go through the entire drawer. I settled with taking a pair of my socks to my lady. We can share. But what gives?

Honey don't you worry. I'm on this one. Going to pick you up some new socks. I know you like those fun ones. D

♥D...I♥U2...D

Let it be said, I love ♥D. She does the cutest things at the most unexpected times. I get random texts throughout the day with codes. Things we have come up with to say, "I'm thinking of you," "I love you," and so on. What? Did you expect me to actually put them on here? I think not. What if one of the guys happens to read this? Then the code is all out the window. The hard work would all be down the drain.

My point, we have these things carefully thought out. I will be the first to tell you, I like to leave things around for ♥D to find. A note carefully placed in a drawer or one of her files, I send a good amount of texts, even a fair amount of emails. Hide a new gift where I know she will find it. Heck, on a good day, I can even remember to have flowers and/or lunch sent to her. She likes it, she is happy about it. Results in me, being happy as well.

Today, I am sitting in a meeting. Didn't even think about the whole phone thing. I get a message. But the phone was on the table. One of the guys picks it up and reads it. I♥U...♥D.

Babe I love you. I really do. But what happened to our code? All of a sudden, topic went to me. Who ♥s me? Do I ♥ them? Who is ♥D? What does ♥ mean?

Well, ♥D for those few people who were in the meeting that didn't know. They know now. But it's all cool. I♥U2...D

I'll Be the First

To write a post. ♥D pretty much agreed to do this with me. I have been talking to her about doing something a little more "public" for a while now. You see, I am in the "public eye." To protect ♥D, we keep our relationship on the DL. But I always feel bad about that. Bad that I cannot have her by my side for work things. Bad that I cannot take her out to a nice dinner. Instead we order in a lot. Usually when it is my night to cook. We don't get to do a lot of the "typical" couple things. I just want to show her how proud I am of our relationship.

But ♥D is amazing about it. She is never upset about it. In fact, she understands. Most of the secrecy is to keep her protected from the public. Some of it, is to well, help me too. But we are working through it. Key members of my inner circle know. A few friends of hers know. That's it.

I first met ♥D when she was performing in Vegas in Dec '07. It was a trip to the City of Sin with my buddies. Finally some time off. We drank, gambled, and decided to see a show. There she was in all her glory. Singing it like no one else. All smiles, all legs, and all curves. I couldn't believe it! No. I. Could. Not. Fellas, I had to pick my jaw off the ground. Her group started to perform to the song Dangerous. I didn't know that we happened to be at the "Lucky" table that night. Man, it was good. I noticed some of my buddies checking her out. But there was something in that look of hers. Before I knew it, I was on stage and she was singing Danger. Lyrics are almost too perfect.

After the show, one of my buddies talked to the owner, AKA ♥D's boss. He was pretty pumped that we were there. He more than welcomed us back stage to meet the lovely ♥D. For as courageous and outgoing as she is onstage, she is pretty quiet and somewhat shy in person. But we hit it off. Talked for a long while. Unfortunately, I failed to get her number. I was just so taken aback by her. My buddies and I headed off on vacation, but ♥D never left my mind.

Time went by and all I could think about was ♥D. I finally grew a pair and called her boss. I knew that she played in a band. I knew the band was good, fun, and full of energy. I got the contact info and gave them a call. It was all lined up. A gig at my joint in the spring. I wanted to request a few songs. The band contact gave me ♥D's number and told me I would have to talk to her about it. Not going to lie here. I was nervous as hell. But I called her.

♥D did not believe it was me. Her exact words "Shut the hell up. Why would ____ call me?" She hung up. Did I dream up Vegas? I don't think so. I called again. This time one of her friends answer. Shut. The. Hell. Up. It. Is. J. A good friend of mine. After talking with him, he agreed to talk to ♥D. She finally agreed to talk to me. We picked right up where we had left off in Vegas. Roughly for 2 months we talked a few times a week.

The band finally came. It was April. I waited and waited for the date to come. Early that morning I fussed with clothes, couldn't get my hair right, and was jumping out of my skin. I felt like a girl. I was 4 hours early to the airport. It was like a movie when she walked out. Glorious. She was literally glowing.

From that point on, I knew I could never let her go. The band was staying at my place. But that 1st night I took ♥D out to dinner. Since then it has been a roller coaster ride. One that I am glad I got on. She puts up with me, my job, and my horrid schedule. I am one lucky guy. I learned that you will never know when your life is going to change. That trip to Vegas with my buddies forever changed my life for the better. D