Dealing the Best Way I Know How

D doesn't understand. My parents don't understand. And at some point, not even I understand. BUT I AM DEALING THE BEST WAY I KNOW HOW!

There are definitely some days when I don't know which way is up. Or if I will sincerely make it through the day. Today was one of those. I think I had a panic attack. Or at least had trouble breathing as I stressed about money and school for hours. My parents called to talk to me. And I tried to explain that I just cannot come up with all the money for tuition, books, my internship, insurance, and supplies. But I seemed to not be getting anywhere with them.

But I tried to pull it together before D got back. This is not something he needs to deal with. Especially as he is preparing for this weekend. But he rolled in. All happy and ready to relax after a hard day at work. My eyes were blood shot, I was still struggling to catch my breath, and I was sitting in the corner, in a ball.

These are the hard times. The times in my life when I am not sure why I do this. Or why in the world I let people do this to me. Or if in the end, is it all worth it? I don't know. I really don't. But there is something about D, that makes even these bad things, somewhat bearable. In one quick swoop, he collected me into his arms. And I never felt safer.

So maybe not everything is fixed. But I do feel better. D has a way of doing that. Money problems will plague me until I either finish school or leave it. But at the end of the day, there is more to life than money, school, and worries.

XOXO

♥D