Feeling Bad

♥D had all these plans. She was going home, to enjoy life a little. Reconnect with some old friends, spend time with family. Then some things were thrown at her. An unexpected, but welcomed audition. Lead to a few more. I'm pretty sure she'll get the job. Which will have her working well into next week.

Her friend. She still hasn't met up with her. Now we have Hurricane Irene to deal with. And a few things on our home front. Life as an adult sucks. I feel bad for ♥D. She had looked forward to this, for a while now. It's just not working out.

She cried on the phone this morning. Because there is a slim chance, we'll get see each other, until next week. And besides my team, she has to been the one person, that was looking most forward to this weekend. But there's not much we can do. Life is just life.

Dang, I hate when ♥D is not happy. She's been battling her health again. One good thing is all we're asking for. We're also worried about the house. And this lady's house. My family. This storm is hitting pretty close.

On top of all of this, ♥D has been dealing with a crap load of family issues. I was never a religious person before. But with ♥D, I've learned to turn to God. To let him have my burdens. I really do hope, for ♥D's sake, that life eases up. We could all use a break. D

Oh the Memories!

I must really like this topic. Because this is the 3rd time I type this up! Yes, thanks Blogger. For always making life a little tougher. But I'm not giving in. I'm fighting back! :)

Earlier this week, my friend and I start this 2 hour long convo. What about? All about Kool Aid! Yes, that sugary drink, that we all enjoyed as kids. :) In my family, it was all about the lime flavored Kool Aid. But I favored the more exotic flavors like black cherry, strawberry banana, and tropical punch. Yes, we were a Kool Aid family!

And this silly convo, lead to my friend and I, heading out to buy Kool Aid. Did I mention the ridiculous rainstorm? And how the streets were flooded. But we still went. And we returned with a HUGE supply of Kool Aid! It was delish! And even my friend's wife, she enjoyed the yummy sugary drink with us. We finished off 2 pitchers before dinner. :)



Do you remember these bad boys? Oh ya! My mom used to collect "Kool Aid points." She had a special jar,were she would put them. And we had 2 or 3 sets of these pitchers and cups. I might have also had a t-shirt, or 3! Yes, my mom still has some fun Kool Aid memorabilia. Too bad the Kool Aid company was sold to Kraft. A few years ago, all of these fun things, well, they went bye-bye!

I have so many fun memories that involved Kool Aid. Big Mason Jars filled to the top, on a hot summer day. Those ridiculous red 'stashes you'd get, after say, 2 glasses of Kool Aid. Making Kool Aid pops with my friends. All of these things, just make me smile!

But I do have a secret to share. When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, it was the cool thing, to bring powdered Kool Aid to school. The pre-sweetened kind. We'd fill up a baggie, and sneak it to school. Yes, our entire grade! And at recess, we'd eat it. :) All you had to do, was cut a small hole in the corner of the bag. And suck. I probably ate 10 lbs of Kool Aid, that school year!

It's funny how one thing, brings back so many memories. I can still see the big cans (that my parents would buy at COSTCO) under our kitchen counters. In our house, we'd have Kool Aid 3 or 4 times a week. And honestly, since moving out of the house, I haven't really had Kool Aid. Like in years! So on this day, it was so nice, to enjoy a large glass, of my favorite sugary drink. :)

XOXO

♥D

When Love is Tough

I'm still feeling a little sad, and guilty, over leaving D. I know, logically, it's only for a few days. But I see my role, in our relationship, as the "supporter." I'm around to cheer him on, and to be there. To do the things for him, that he needs.

And when I'm not around, I feel insanely guilty! It might sound weird to some. But in our crazy, and very chaotic life, that's just the way it is. Plain and simple. He does so much for me, that I feel like I'm supposed to be there, doing for him as well.

I'm not joking when I say this, Sunday just broke my heart. All I wanted to do, was crawl back into bed. To be there for the man, that is always there for me. Talk about hard to do. How do you walk away from someone, that loves you that much? That does so much for you. And gives up so much, to just be with you. It was so hard! But of all the things that I've learned, in relationships, sometimes you just have to do things for you.

The look in his eyes, on Sunday morning, made me want to crawl back into bed. To cuddle with him. Right up until he had to go to work. There is nothing like feeling his arms, wrapped rightly around me. Knowing that he loves me so incredibly much. I wanted nothing more, than to crawl back into bed, get into my little "nook," and fall asleep to the beat of his heart.

But like I said, I've been in relationships were I've completely lost myself. Let the other person's life totally dictate mine. And it's tough. It's hard to not do that again. But it's the wrong way to go. So I held my ground. Put on my jacket, and battled the rain. I endured a morning of traveling. And guess what? It wasn't that bad.

I had an amazing time with my friends. We celebrate my Goddaughter. We caught up on each others' lives. We laughed. I enjoyed delish Mexican food again. Oh, how I've missed it! And when all that was done, smiles were permanently glued to our faces, and my heart overflowed with love...we headed to the park. To see my friends perform. It was an amazing concert!

As hard as it is, to be in this relationship, I wouldn't trade anything in the world for it. It's so hard, to be away from all of my family and friends. I miss them so terribly bad! And it's incredibly tough, to be away from everyone and everything, that I love so much. The culture, climate, food, shopping,and life in general. But I LOVE D. And I'm OK with being away from all of this. Just as long as I get to visit from time to time.

And I know, that these little trips are good for D and I as well. It's good that we spend a little time away from one another. It's good that our lives involve other people. And other things. That we have interests away from each other. Yes, it's good for us.

So I'm going to make the best of my week. I'm going indulge in all the yummy food, I'm going to love my Goddaughters even more, I'm going fix my home, visit my family, and enjoy life in the desert. Because sometimes, you just have to do that!

And next week, when I get to see D, I'm going to be over the moon! I'm going to enjoy our homecoming. And all that I've missed. I'm going to hug him a little harder. I'm going to enjoy the smell of his cologne. And the feel of his arms. Yes, I'm going to do all of that, and so much more!

Relationships are not easy. They require a lot of "push and pull," to make them successful. I'm so happy that I'm on this journey with D. A man that truly understands all of this. That loves me. And is willing to sacrifice a little, so that I can be happy too. Yes, this is a very good relationship. And D is an amazing man! I'm so lucky and blessed.

XOXO

♥D

No Rest for the Wicked

Mondays are traditionally, our days off. ♥D and I decided a long time ago, that we needed one day off, together, a week. Mondays just fit the bill. Until this week.

I was bugged about my afternoon adventures today. Not because of what I have to do. That's actually gonna be pretty cool. But it's Monday. It's like asking a normal person, to go into work on a Sunday. You know what I mean? Damn, but I figured that the 1st half of my day, wouldn't be bothered. I could live with working the evening/night. It didn't sound too bad. That didn't work out. Much in thanks, to yesterday's rain.

With yesterday wasted, literally waiting out the rain, all work got moved to today. We're on a time crunch. Everyone is miserable. I've got a good team today. No one wants to work. Right now, we're mid flight. I'm the one trying to "cheer" everyone on. Isn't that hilarious?

Meanwhile, ♥D has gone back, to her home, in the SW. She went to throw a Baby Shower. And is staying until next week. Her family is having a Reunion next weekend. Since she doesn't see much of her family, we agreed, this would be the best time for her to be home.

How is she spending her week? It was supposed to be low key. Baby Shower yesterday. Helping her friend, get ready, for her baby all week. Taking it easy. Being a little lazy. And seeing friends. She needs a break. This was the best opportunity for her. I was happy. Even planning a trip out there midweek. Just to hang out for a day or so.

Plans hit the ceiling. Damn, we have no luck. Miss ♥D has been having issues with her home. For a while now. But since she lives with me 95% of the time, we really haven't pushed to fix a lot of these things. But the plumbing in her master bath, it's shot. And she woke up to a horrible surprise this AM. All this after an eventful evening.

Instead of kicking back all week. ♥D is now dealing with plumbing and construction issues. Not exactly as planned. But what can you do? It's life. My PR guy also jacked up, looks like I probably won't be west bound anytime soon. Pisses me off. Of all times, I know ♥D needs me right now. It's a damn good thing, that she is a strong woman.

A usually quiet day, in our neck of the woods, has become a headache. On all sides. Add in some unusual family drama, on both fronts, and I'm pretty sure that the lady and I, are both ready to hideout. It's just been that kind of day. Leading into that kind of a week. I've never looked forward to work, as much as I do right now. Because the sooner I dig into that, the closer I will be to next Monday. Our day off. Which, we're taking off. D

The Help

Where to begin? I always have a tough time with these things. But let's just dig in. A while back, D's grandma gave me this book. Actually, she's so sweet! She bought a copy, for pretty much every female member of her family. Including D's mom and I. That was really generous of her!

Turns out, she read this book over 2 years ago! And she loved it. LOVED IT! So she was sharing it with all her family members. I was the last to receive the book. Not because she doesn't love me. But she had figured, being the bookworm that I am, that I had already read it. Wrong. And that night, before dinner was settled in our tummies, and dessert was on our plates, I had my very own copy.

I LOVED this book! In fact, I read 2 chapters on the way home. In the dark! D thought I was hilarious. And I stayed up, all night, to finish this book. It as that good. No lie! I as so into this book. So much of it, reminded me of my Auntie. Who I spent so much time with, growing up. And I miss so much, now that she's gone.



That was a couple of months ago. And I've read this book, 3 times since! Can you tell that I LOVE it? So when we heard about the movie, we planned a Girl's Day Out. Just to watch this movie. All of the females in the family.

This week, just happened to be when we watched it. And it was so good! Of course, it wasn't as good as the book. But it was still a very good movie. One I'd recommend. After reading the book, naturally. :)

And our day out was just amazing! We started with a yummy breakfast at grandma's house. Everyone pitched in. And we had a real Southern Delight! Then we went out for a little pampering. You know, hair, nails, and makeup. Then some shopping. Followed by a yummy lunch out. The amazing movie. And some dessert. We all headed to our house for a fun BBQ. The guys in the family, well they surprised us all! And they did all the cooking.

Yes, it was a very good day. With an amazing family! Something I'd never give back. I had so much fun. And I'd definitely recommend something like that, for anyone considering this movie. But remember, read the book first. You won't be disappointed!

XOXO

♥D

Hopeful

Today Miss ♥D has a doctor's appointment. We've learned to hold our breath, when it comes to these appointments. Especially lately. It's tough to think about anything else going wrong. I go into these things, trying to be as supportive and strong, as I possibly can. Being her rock. Inside, I feel completely sick. Out of control.

This is the only thing that I can't control, in life. I can't pay someone, so that Miss ♥D is feeling better. You can't buy good health. As much as I'd like to. You just can't. I've learned that the hard way. That's a tough pill to swallow.

Early this morning, I got a kiss from Miss ♥D. She had to work. 2 hours away. It made for an early morning for her. But even with that, I try to make it easier on her. Knowing that she had a doctor's appointment, and that we're leaving for NY later, I got a car service to drive her. With that sweet kiss, I began to silently pray.

Any other day, I would have gone back to sleep. My work day, starting hours later. But I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about the woman I love. And what she must be going through. Knowing that at any moment, as she calls it, "The Big C" can get totally out of control. Things that she so neatly organizes, can blow up.

I sat there. With our dogs. Just thinking. I know that she's "The One" for me. I've always known this. From the day I first met her. I just can't imagine life without her. I really can't. Over the last 3 years, I've really learned to love. I need Miss ♥D, like one needs air or water, to live.

I try not to let my mind go there. But sometimes I wonder, what if... It's a horrible thing to imagine. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. I have to remind myself to stay hopeful. To remember that she's beaten it thus far. I've also learned to not count on certain things. That the fact that Miss ♥D's health doesn't get worse, well that's a damn good thing. Bad news, is when things get worse. It may sound odd to people when I say, I don't want her health to be worse off, just the same as last time. A bonus would be better. Complete health, that's a miracle. But if she's not worse, that's good too.

Today, I've tried to work. I've been thinking about all sorts of things. But mostly, that I want to be there, for the woman I love. I don't care about the rest. This work, it will get done. If not today, there's tomorrow. Traveling to NY, well, we'll get there, when we get there. I'm not worried about that. I'm only worried about Miss ♥D. My word for today is, HOPEFUL. D

Our Weekend

So my Lady Love isn't feeling so great. Lots of things are going on. So I'm taking over blogging duties. 2 days in a row! Let's hope you don't get sick of me.

I do have to say this much, it's nice to have our good friend M back. Back on the road with us. He's definitely not fully recovered. But getting there. All M could talk about all week, was getting back on the road. I guess someone has missed, the circus life, that we live.

But it's nice. To have our buddy back on board. To celebrate so many of our friends this week. Shoot, I didn't realize how many people, were celebrating their birthday. But as usual, Miss ♥D has been on top of it. Presents thoughtful bought, and wrapped. A nice dinner planned for everyone. People, I've honestly hit the jackpot with my Lady Love.

I usually hate this place. Not because of my work. But more because of the weather. Damn, if there are 2 times of year, that I can bet on rain, it's when we're out here. But it just adds to the time I get to spend with Miss ♥D. In the condo, watching movies. It's a good life. I am a very blessed man.

Our hearts also go out to all the people of NC. What floods! I'm just happy that our loved ones are safe. We'll continue to pray for the well being of the people of NC. What a tragedy. Please keep them in your prayers. Damn, I hope you have a nice weekend. D

Intimate Matters

I've put this particular conversation off for a while. Who wants to talk to their older sister about these matters? Not me. I rarely ever talked to my sister, about girls in general. As teens, she'd try and bribe me. It didn't work. Why would I talk to her? I needed to avoid all that embarrassment. At all costs!

As adults, we've gotten closer. We've been through a hell of a lot of shit together. Losing our Dad. Her relationships. Failed marriages. Children. My failed relationships. My career. Our lives. All of it. With all this crap, I've gotten more comfortable. Felt like I could talk about more stuff with her. Especially when we began working together. I really felt like she had my back.

When ♥D and I started dating, we did it quietly. Neither of us wanted extra pressure. From anyone. We already had a lot going against us. Our physical distance. She lived in SW. I lived in SE. We both had highly demanding jobs. We just wanted this to be quiet. To be our thing.

Soon, people could tell something was different. I was freakin' happy 24/7. It had absolutely nothing to do with my new job adventures. It was this new woman. I knew immediately that she had me. That this was it. We were meant for one another. I just needed a way to make things easier. To make them work for us. To figure out how to at least get us in the same city.

My sister came to me one day, and wanted to know what was up. I was playing dumb. I wasn't so sure if I wanted her to know. Completely out of character for me. She is the one person I share almost everything with. As she grilled me, and our cousin loved it, she knew something was up. My cousin finally gave me up. I think he was a little too happy to have something over me.

There was never anyone that was so happy. My sister was happy. She knew I had found someone, that really made me happy. Not someone that would be a "play thing." But a real partner for me. She was just happy. Even happy that we were choosing to keep this quiet. Later, we'd both agree, it has been the single best thing. The one thing that has allowed for Miss ♥D and I to have this relationship. This real relationship. That's so strong.

Time past. Miss ♥D and my family got close. My sister really liked her. Liked that she was a good and strong woman. A woman with dreams and goals of her own. But an "old school" type. You know, takes care of the home, cooks, cleans, puts family first, loves with everything she's got. My whole family was just happy.

And not much more was said. My family just opened their arms. Let her in. Welcomed and loved her. A few times, someone would bring something up. Of the intimate matter. Were we being safe? Was I making sure to "cover up?" The usual talk, when people think they need to protect you. But we could figure ways out of it. Of not having to completely answer. Let everything out. My cousin would joke with me. But it was all light. Nothing too deep, or serious.

Then came my sister. This week. My newlywed sister. Who wanted to know. Know everything. Do we do it? Are we using protection? Will we have kids before we get married? What's going on there? Dude, I was like a damn deer in the headlights. What the hell?



Miss ♥D and I rarely talk to people about this. But I'm sure people wonder. Hell, I'll admit it here. I've dating some women...let's just say...some that I'd never take home to meet my momma or grandma. Let alone my sister or nieces. You just don't do that. I was young. Stupid. Had the world by the damn tail. Thought I knew it all. But what those models, bunnies, and other women didn't have...was everything I was looking for in a woman. Everything that Miss ♥D is, and has.

The answer I gave my sister was no. We don't. Miss ♥D has certain morals, values, and beliefs. I love her more than life itself. And I respect these things. I'd be lying if I said that the thought hasn't crossed my mind. A few billion times. Hell, I'm still a red blooded American man. Sometimes, the damn wrong head is doing the thinking. How can it not? She's a beautiful, sensual woman. But I respect my girlfriend and her beliefs.

The funny thing is, this was probably one of our very first conversations. I don't even know how it came about. But we met, when Miss ♥D was performing in the City of Sin. She was in a Burlesque group. And man, did she look amazing! I paid a guy, to make sure that I'd get a chance to meet her.

Yes, 2 incredibly shy kids. You're probably wondering who made the first move. Well, to tell the truth. Neither of us. I paid a guy to meet Miss ♥D. I met her. So incredibly shy. At the time she was dating someone. And was completely different off stage. Onstage, she was confident. Almost demanding your attention. She had a very sensual way of singing. A fun energy about her, when she danced.

But when we talked, she was quiet. Shy. I recognized that. I'm the same way. She blushed when we shook hands. And was not at all comfortable, when her group took a picture with my buddies and I. But she was sweet. Genuine. Real. Super friendly. Big heart. You could tell that right away. Just the way she was so kind. Even to her bodyguard. Super sweet. Offering him a drink, or a snack. A chance to relax before the next show. And a party later.

I knew that I had met my match, when I met Miss ♥D. There was just something about her. I hoped that I'd get a chance. I knew that she'd love with all her heart. Fill me with that love. I could just imagine what life with her would be like. Full of passion and chemistry. A bit of mystery. Because there was just something in her eye, a sparkle. I just knew that I wanted a chance. And I got that chance. Months later. We were both single. And I took the chance.

I had the knowledge, that this incredible woman was a virgin. And would remain so, until she was married. I knew that. And I more than accepted it. I welcomed it. I respected it. Because Miss ♥D is too special, to just write off.

Was I a sexual being before? Am I a red blooded American man? Of course I was. Did I think this would be tough? Yes. I knew it would be. But I don't think, that I really thought it through. Thought how would I handle it? The cuddling time, that she so dearly enjoys. The make out sessions, that remind you of being a teenager. And then realizing, it has to stop. Sharing a bed with someone, that you just want to devour, and must hold back. The things that flash through your mind. The things you want to do, enjoy, and feel with the woman that you love the most. But I know that I have to wait. Keep all this under control. Control my feelings and desires. My wants. The things that my body wants most.

It's tough as hell. But I remind myself, Miss ♥D is worth it. And worth so much more. She is. God knows, she is! I find myself wanting her more and more each day. And I remind myself, that's only natural. It's tough. Tough as hell. But you do what you have to do, for love.

My sister literally fell out of her chair, during our conversation this week. I busted out laughing. Who would have thought? She immediately called Miss ♥D. That look that crossed her face, told it all. Then I got that hug and "I'm proud of you little brother." It felt good. I know I'm doing the right thing here.

I know, this has made Miss ♥D's and I relationship stronger. I don't care what people think, or say. Because this is our relationship. We do what's best for the 2 of us. Not what other people think is best. That makes me feel good. I've got Miss ♥D's back, and she's got mine. Is there anything else that we need?

Believe me, I do miss that. I miss the sex. I crave that, with the woman I love. To be that intimate. That close to her. To hear her call my name...just like that. To hold me, as ecstasy takes over. Like I'm the only thing that can keep her alive. To know, that I'm the one that makes her feel just that way. To feel her body crave and yearn for my body, the way it just happens. At just the right time. To feel us connected as one. Sex is different when you're in love. When you are older. And appreciate it. The intimate matters of it. Not just the physicality.

For now, I'll take all the making out, cuddling, and sleeping so close, that I swear you couldn't fit a piece of paper between us. Because it's what the love of my life needs. I'll give her anything and everything that she needs. Even if it means some ice cold showers, from time to time, for me.

But honestly, watching her battle the Big C, like she does, how can I not sacrifice a little bit? She literally fights for her life. How can I be pissed about something like this? To me, it's all worth it. One day, we'll be there. OK, so we might not be reachable for about 6 months. ;-) But you'll know why. It just might push me into early retirement. Because I won't be able to focus on anything else. But the time will come. When our bodies finally give in to all our desires. When we cling to each other for life. Like our entire existence depends on one another. When we become one body, soul, and spirit. And it will be amazing for both of us. D

Graduation Party...

Yesterday was my niece's graduation party. You know the one. I've been halfway embracing it, halfway having anxiety because of it. My parents offered their home, and before we knew it, they were throwing the party. Ya, I know. To really add insult to injury, my niece didn't invite anyone. OK, my niece invited a friend from school, and that was it.

So I showed up to my parents' house a little early. To get ready for the party. I spent a solid 4 days running around town. Buying everything that we needed. Costco, the Meat Market, I don't know how many Grocery Stores, the Dollar Tree, and Party City. I was exhausted even before the party.

The day before, we had been invited to a birthday party. And literally, my parents and I, went to eat. OK, so we dropped off a few presents too. But it was quick. And we were on our way. We had already spent most of the day shopping, cleaning, and getting things ready. But we weren't done. Oh no!

Costco told us to pick the cake after 6PM. But Costco closes at 5PM on Saturdays. We didn't know that. And the man at the door was incredibly rude. But we got things taken care of. I just told him, if we didn't get the cake that night, they could keep it. I was too tired to deal with him. And Costco isn't exactly close to my parents' house...

Someone went to get the cake for us. And we paid up front. The cashier was really nice to us. And as it turns out, the hours had recently been changed. But no one could figure out why that bakery would have us pick up the cake after hours. I don't know.

We went home. My Mom was trying to get some last minute things done in the yard. By this time, it was already getting dark. I was trying to tackle things inside. ie Cooking. My Dad was trying to fight off sleep. We were a real mess!

My parents called it a night sometime after 10PM. I stayed up cooking. And chopping. And making platters. Believe it or not, but I had planned on going back to my hotel room. Sometime during the night. It never happened. My brother got home sometime after 2AM, never offered to help. I was knee deep in chicken. And pasta salad. I wanted to cry.

Hysterical as it was, I had a little bit of a system in place. After all the fruit and veggies were cut, the platters were put together, and I had boiled the pasta and potatoes, I tackled the chicken. We had pounds and pounds of it. So I seasoned all of it. And baked 4 pans at a time, for 90 minutes, while I took a nap. Or wrapped silverware. Then I'd switch them out. No lie. This went on for a while. I had 16 pans to cook!

By 7AM, I decided that I wasn't going to be baking any cupcakes. And I hoped that I'd get the decorations up on time. Oh, and I never got to Party City, to pick up my balloon order. It was just that kind of a day. I sent my parents to go eat breakfast. I knew my Dad needed to eat. And by noon a friend, and another one of my brothers came to help out. It was a good thing too. I barely managed to take a shower and get halfway presentable. Tables were being set up, we were still trying to figure out how to put together this hamburger grill thing, and my Mom was trying to buy ice.

By 2PM, we hadn't heard from my niece, or her mom. And we were starting to panic. My brother's little girl, she was also having a meltdown. A serious one. The poor little thing was tired, but didn't want to take a nap. And my brother, was trying to not go nuts! When my Dad called my niece, well she didn't sound like she was coming. It was so weird.

She had called earlier in the day. Wanting to know what kind of food we were having. How big was the cake? Where was it from? Did we have decorations? How many people were coming? The questions went on and on. Um, we were trying to get things together. We didn't have time to talk. Then, she just didn't sound like she was going to come. Until Grandpa talked to her.

In so many words, my Dad told her to get to the house. Right now. People were already there! And she was nowhere to be seen. I was ready to kill! Our friend K, and I got stuck at the grills. Which honestly was no shock. We had been working on this party for hours. Poor K, had literally been there since 9AM! I ended up not eating. I think I had half a bowl of fruit. All day long! But everyone seemed to be having a nice time. The temperatures fell, and it was cloudy. Which was a HUGE relief! Earlier in the day, it had been so hot!

The kids enjoyed it the most. My parents have an incredible back yard. Full playground! Surrounded by grass, trees, and so many flowers. They played in the sprinklers. Had a blast with the toys I had bought. Dollar Tree is amazing! And they definitely enjoyed their ice cream treats. :)

Late in party, we brought out the cake. My niece remarked how it was small. Why didn't we get a bigger one. I almost slapped her. No lie! I was so frustrated with her. But I didn't say anything. We bought a full sheet cake. How big did she want it? Then we started the game, what piece do you want? She wanted her name. Which was a big piece. But I said OK. I skillfully cut it out, and handed it to her. Um, it was overflowing on a full sized plate.

I went on to cut cake for everyone else. We handed it out. With ice cream. We also had banana pudding, another pink dessert from my cousin, and fresh fruit. She about had a heart attack when I gave a rose to someone. What? Are we going to save the whole cake? And then when I decided to have a piece, there was only a small corner left. I took about a 1/4 of it. It was like a baby sized piece. And the diploma, came along with it. To my happy surprise, it was made of chocolate. Again, another fit. You would have thought she was 3, instead of 17.

With all that said, everyone had a good time. Lots of people were invited last minute. And they came. Did I mention? Most didn't even know my niece. But they came, and with a card and money, or a gift. And she acted like a spoiled brat. I'm not sure what was up with that. But I was highly annoyed by her.

We had plenty of food. And sent most people home with a few plates. Kids took home the funny toys I had bought. I'm sure my Mom was happy about that. What was she going to do with 10 kid sized plastic bats and balls. Or all those sand toys and buckets. Or even all the water toys. My niece was crying about that. And about the coloring books and crayons that they took. She sat in the house crying. Literally. What was going on with her?

She took all the decorations. Which I was glad. All the signs, table toppers, everything that was red, white, and blue. I had to stop her when she tried to take the baskets, bowls, and platters. Hello. Those were mine way before this party. And my Mom stopped her with the dish towels. I'm not sure where this was coming from.

It was weird. We never got a Thank You. Not once from her. Her mom thanked us multiple times. She's not even related to us! Her dad is the one that's related. But that is a long story. For another day! And her grandma, was so happy that we had done this. Lots of people seemed to enjoy this. But not my niece. It was odd.

After she took everything, and her cards, I was a little shocked. She just wanted the money. Never read the card, or looked at the note. Was rather made at the gifts she received. All she wanted was money. I'm positive that she has no clue who gave her what. Even though we all told her she has to write Thank You notes, I'm pretty sure she won't. And that's just sad.

I know that they pushed for this party to get money. Because my niece's mom, is taking her and her younger sister to Disneyland soon. And she wanted spending money. But honestly, they don't see much of our family. They didn't invite any friends. So I wasn't surprised when she only made $115. I know she was expecting a few thousand. Like I had gotten years before. But I know a lot more people. I invited a bunch of friends. And honestly, our family is not very wealthy. Most will give $10-15. I got most of my money from friends. My mentors, people who were closer than family. People who knew I would use the money for college. And had been a HUGE part of my life!

And after the way my niece acted, well, she should be happy to have gotten that much. I'm not lying. I hate to feel this way. But she acted like a spoiled brat. Literally! All she was concerned with all day long, was taking food to her Nana, and making money. Um, like 5 people took food to her Nana. I honestly didn't care. But she should have maybe, been more attentive to her Grandpa. The person who paid for most of this. But whatever.

Worst of all, we found out that she didn't receive an actual diploma! It was a Certificate of Completion. She lied to everyone. Including her mom. But we got to the bottom of it. Because she was in Special Ed, she needs to go to the local university for a year. Then she will have completed everything. And will receive a diploma. But if they couldn't afford to throw a party, and are still scraping money together for the trip to Disneyland, I'm almost positive that they're not going to have the money for the university. We'll just have to wait and see...

I so wanted to be happy. What a HUGE milestone this is! A time to celebrate. But something has changed. My niece is completely different. Ungrateful. And it was so hard to get into this. After buying her dress, shoes, and paying for a big chunk of this party...I just couldn't bring myself to giving her a card with money. Not after the way she treated my parents.

If you've made it thus far, bless your soul! You are a dedicated reader! And I appreciate that. I'm just hoping that my niece changes. Does better for her future. It's only for her own good. I'm glad that I did everything that I did. I have no regrets, on my part. I just wish that she would appreciate what people do for her. But what can we do? Now she is an adult, and will have to pull her weight in the world.

XOXO

♥D